Robert Frost

This is a portion of a line from Robert Frost’s “A Servant to Servants,” but I think I saw it for the first time on a coffee mug, and it had been changed to “the only way round is through.” I’m not sure Frost meant this line to become what it has; regardless, it’s had an incredible second life, not as a part of a poem, but on its own as a motivational quote.

Whatever you call them, sayings, aphorisms - if they’ve got the right history - or platitudes - if you want to be a little insulting - or inspirational/motivational quotes, they have made some place in most people’s worlds.

I don’t hate inspirational quotes. I certainly post plenty of them. True, they aren’t always logical and they certainly aren’t universal. They aren’t even always helpful and some of them can be downright dismissive.

However, they are, for the most part, incredibly engaging. For example:

“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”

Immediately, it’s easy to point out this platitude’s flaws. It's inflexible. It leaves no room for the ebb and flow of human existence and I think we’ve all seen, especially this year, that life doesn’t operate on a linear incline because Shit Happens - an excellent quote all its own.

It’s also something I’ve found useful in the past. Hearing this quote triggers some perspective on my present self - I’ll look back on the people I used to be and think I’m not doing so bad.

Because I didn’t treat it as capital-T Truth. It contains truth, certainly, but I’m not looking to it to explain how I should live.

I think many of us have this instinct (because I hope it’s not just me) of trying to find one ultimate truth that will always provide true direction: a North Star, a compass, a lighthouse that shines through any storm, one thing that can be remembered and repeated whenever I am feeling lost that will set me on the right path.

I also know that this is too simplistic an approach to a life with any complexity. The best way to live my life is to swim in and surrender to this chaos into which I was born. It is the only thing that feels true.

It’s both correct and exhausting.

Maybe this is the value I get from a motivational quote, as long as I treat it appropriately. It can give my brain a rest when I need a break from figuring out the world, without withdrawing completely.

As long as I remember that it’s not a lighthouse. It’s a raft.

It keeps my head above water. Some days I can swim, but some days I cannot, and I need something to hold onto while life keeps going.

Because the only way round is through, but no one can swim all goddamn day.

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